The New York HSP Group
A discussion, support and social group for the highly sensitive person living in New York
2008.07.28  2008.07.30
Why should Highly Sensitive People connect with each other?

The whole idea of a group event may seem like a contradiction to many HSPs. Many of us-- especially introverted HSPs like myself-- don't like socializing in groups, and may even have had bad experiences in doing so. In fact, the idea can be downright scary and nervousmaking.

Why regional or local groups? Why should Highly Sensitive Persons specifically seek out and socialize with each other, rather than just with whatever people happen to come through our lives?

The idea of "HSP Groups" is a direct result of the very positive feedback from HSPs who have attended the periodic HSP Gatherings around the US, and abroad. The bottom line is that nobody "gets" the HSP experience like a fellow HSP, and the insights, validation and good feelings that come with spending time in the company of true peers are substantial.

But don't take my word for it. Read others' thoughts about why HSPs benefit from knowing each other-- especially 2001 Gathering attendee Marcia Norris' article "Why HSPs Need to Gather"

An HSP Gathering is coming to Phoenicia, NY in October 2008. This will be the first such Gathering in the eastern US since 2005, so don't miss this opportunity to connect with other HSPs! Visit the "2008 NY HSP Gathering" page for more info.
Learning and healing through reciprocal support and validation

In several places on this web site, I use the phrase "Nobody gets the HSP experience like another HSP." Therein lies perhaps the key to why groups and "peer relationships" can be so important for HSPs.

Clearly, while going to a Gathering may be the ideal way to meet other HSPs, it is not feasible for the majority of people-- from a cost, time, stress, and scheduling perspective. Yes, they are extremely positive, empowering and rewarding experiences, but most HSPs would prefer something closer to home, as well something that just takes a little less time and energy, rather than a "full immersion experience" lasting 3-5 days.

The most reasonable alternative is the local HSP peer group. Not a "support group" in the sense of a professional therapist running group therapy sessions, but a support-IVE group of HSP peers who get together on a weekly, bi-weekly, monthly or some other schedule to simply BE together, and discuss the daily issues only fellow HSPs can truly relate to. Although not "therapy" in the traditional sense, such groups can-- by nature-- be very healing.

The HSP Internet discussion group-- an "HSP Safe" first step towards connecting

My own experiences-- which seem to be shared by HSP group hosts around the US, and abroad-- is that HSPs like to "think about" things before doing them, and once the decision is made, to "start slowly." The Internet based group format offers a number of advantages, in that respect.

It's a place where people can gradually get to know each other and have discussions from the safety of their living rooms, before making a commitment to meet anyone, face-to-face. A certain comfort level can be built among group members, to a point where going to actually meet the group doesn't feel quite so much like "going to meet a bunch of strangers." Far less daunting, for most, than answering an ad in a newspaper, and just setting out to meet a group of unknown people, in an unknown environment.

I'm an HSP-- and I certainly know which approach to making contact with HSPs I'd prefer. I'd be surprised if you didn't feel the same way!